While surfing the net some time last year, I came across an article about “mental fog” or “brain fog”. I hadn’t encountered this exact phrase before, but after reading the article, I realized I had been suffering from this mental condition most of the time.
Seated in front of the computer at this moment, I can feel that familiar heavy sensation within my head. It has become so familiar that I was not even consciously aware of it. Stress at school may not be entirely responsible for this as I have been on school break for almost three weeks and the heavy sensation still lingers. It feels as if a dense smoke is trapped.
I feel kind of sorry for myself because lightheadedness, mental clarity and a set of well-tuned senses are fine gifts to enjoy life with!
Aside from this physical sensation in my head, there is another mental condition that has been affecting my quality of life ever since I can remember. My family and close friends can confirm without hesitation that I am a clumsy, careless woman with frequent memory gaps in spite of my reputation as a responsible student and an above-average performer at school.
I love learning new things and satisfying my many curiosities through readings but my memory cannot handle most of them for a long time. It gets scarier when I try to remember simple trivial things and fail. The more sensitive and observant of myself I become, the more it hits me that my memory is going anywhere but uphill as the years pass by.
For some people, this may sound like an overreaction because they’re not in my shoes and they haven’t spent some time with me to witness it.
After getting disappointed in myself countless of times, I decided I needed help. It’s about time I became fully awake and fully aware. Been out of touch with myself.
My simple wish is to experience mental clarity everyday. The brain is so awesome and life has so much to offer!